I am so happy to return to my blog. I haven’t written or posted anything for the last 2 weeks. It is so nice to be back to creative or personal writing, rather than an academic one.
My biggest goal for this month was to finish all the revisions for my thesis and submit the final copy to all the committee members. At times, I felt like revising was harder than the actual writing of the dissertation. The initial feedback of the professors made me question myself so many times. It made me question the validity of my arguments, the logic of the claims, and the relevance of the examples. It made me doubt everything. It was an emotional roller coaster. During the last 2 weeks, I often forgot about the basic needs like eating properly or sleeping more than 4 hours. My dreams became these nightmares when the lines from my thesis were floating in my mind and making zero sense. I had dreams of being rejected by the committee members. Dreams of failing the defence. All these subconscious fears, you know. It was a bit of a mind torture.
I submitted the final work yesterday and took a deep breath. In a week or two, I will know whether it is a pass or not. If it is a “yes,” the defence will be scheduled in 6 weeks. For a little while, I can forget about this madness. I can go back to reading novels, not academic articles. I can focus more on my teaching job. I can blog much more often! But for now, I am going to stop and go watch Superbowl, of which I know absolutely nothing.