(Un)sent letter

Dear Z,

It has been almost 10 years since we last met. I have been wanting to write a letter to you without ever sending it. I want to say something I was not able to say 10 years ago.

I forgive you. I forgive you for changing my life and me. I did not want this change, but it happened, and I could not stop it. You changed me as a person, as a woman, as a partner. Through your eyes, I saw myself for the first time and formed an opinion that was so hard to shatter later on. Sometimes I still see myself through your eyes, but it does not happen often anymore. I have thought so many days, I have cried so many nights, I went through it, through “us” millions of times to finally be free – from you, from us, from me with you. It’s time to say goodbye for the last time. I am ready to forgive you:

I forgive you for being my first man and giving me a false idea of what a man should be – what a woman should be.

I forgive you for being so wonderful and so cruel to me.

I forgive you for making me believe in cliched love and romantic relationships. I forgive you for turning me into a cynic.

I forgive you for letting you control my self-esteem, my confidence, self-love.

I forgive you for ruining my hopes and dreams when I was so young and hopeful.

I forgive you for showing me a fairy-tale and becoming a villain in the story.

I forgive you for letting me love you so much.

I forgive you for showing me what love is and what it is not.

I forgive you for loving me so much and betraying me.

I forgive you for everything.

I forgive.

Sent.

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