My first experience with YouTubing

I have recently started my own YouTube channel, a Booktube (natable books) – yes, it is all about books, reading, and reviewing the new releases in literature! I am both excited and terrified. I have never thought I could have the courage to talk in front of camera and then put myself on display for the whole world (I have 10 subscribers now, 9 of them are my family members, lol).

There are two main reasons I started my channel.

First, as long as I remember myself, I have always been reading. From the very early childhood to my adult life now. Books mesmerised me. I loved getting new books, touching their pages, looking at how words made sense on a page, and diving deep into the stories. Before I always had my mom to share this hobby with. We would read the same books and discuss our feelings about them. It felt satisfying not just to read a book, but also to have someone read it simultaneously with you and discuss all the moments of the story when the impressions are still fresh. I moved away from home long time ago, and even though I constantly talk with my mom on the phone, we do not really discuss the books the way we did before. We have different time zones, different regimes, and even different languages we read the books in (I started reading more in English). Where I live now, I do not really have a close friend who chooses similar books as I do. I wish I had someone to share all the reading moments. So…that is why I decided to find it in the online reading community. It would be great to meet similar readers and thinkers and literally read the same books together. Just like it was before.

Second, I started the Vlog as a chance to tackle my greatest fear – public speaking and being in front of people/camera. I grew up in the society that did not teach the skills of speaking with confidence, defending your position, and being free-spirited and free-minded. When I moved to another country, I understood how the world is different and how it is so much more fun to live a life with no fears or anxieties. Being in front of a camera is one of the biggest fears for me. I often freeze, forget all my words, and cannot think of anything smart to say. It is so much easier for me to write than to speak. But I do not want this to be a part of my personality. I believe you can become who you want to be if you take risks. Right now I am taking a chance and we will see what is going to come out of it.

My YouTube journey has just begun, and I hope it will be an interesting and unforgettable ride!

Link to my YouTube channel:

Instagram: @natable.books

Back to blogging

I am so happy to return to my blog. I haven’t written or posted anything for the last 2 weeks. It is so nice to be back to creative or personal writing, rather than an academic one.

My biggest goal for this month was to finish all the revisions for my thesis and submit the final copy to all the committee members. At times, I felt like revising was harder than the actual writing of the dissertation. The initial feedback of the professors made me question myself so many times. It made me question the validity of my arguments, the logic of the claims, and the relevance of the examples. It made me doubt everything. It was an emotional roller coaster. During the last 2 weeks, I often forgot about the basic needs like eating properly or sleeping more than 4 hours. My dreams became these nightmares when the lines from my thesis were floating in my mind and making zero sense. I had dreams of being rejected by the committee members. Dreams of failing the defence. All these subconscious fears, you know. It was a bit of a mind torture.

I submitted the final work yesterday and took a deep breath. In a week or two, I will know whether it is a pass or not. If it is a “yes,” the defence will be scheduled in 6 weeks. For a little while, I can forget about this madness. I can go back to reading novels, not academic articles. I can focus more on my teaching job. I can blog much more often! But for now, I am going to stop and go watch Superbowl, of which I know absolutely nothing.